The modern cannabis market is an exciting place of wild products, soaring THC percentages, and futuristic gadgets. However, lost in all this glitz and glam is the fact that weed is, after all, just a flower you can grow yourself.
While it’s simple to pop a seed in the ground and watch it sprout, growing high-quality cannabis can be difficult for a novice. Aside from factors like space to grow, access to sufficient light, and start-up costs, the plant itself is complex, finicky, and prone to pests like spider mites and powder mold.
Thankfully, there’s a slew of brands, boxes, systems and tents that take the need for a big yard and a botany degree out of cultivating one of nature’s most incredible gifts.
With most of the world stuck at home, trying their hand at everything from bread baking to Tik Tok dances, there’s never been a better (or financially relevant) time to learn how to grow your own weed.
Whether your thumb is green or yet to be determined, we’ve rounded up a handful of growing systems to suit any situation, budget, and skill level. If you have to stay home for the foreseeable future, you might as well grow some weed. Here’s a couple starter systems to get you on your way.
Discreet, classy, and reminiscent of its namesake, the Armoire is a perfect choice for the novice enthusiast looking for an easy and compact way to grow their own flower.
To say it’s low maintenance would be an understatement, as the Armoire needs little more than to be plugged in, planted, and watered. With a 90-day concierge service, you’ll be guided through any questions or concerns, leading to many of their customers reporting yields of over a quarter pound in as little as 60—90 days.
The Armoire comes with everything you need to grow except the water, soil, and seed — all dubbed “consumables” — that will need to be replaced each new grow cycle. Designed to pass in every way as furniture, the 2 foot square is roughly 4.5 feet tall, and quieter than an aquarium. Coming in at over $1,000, it will set you back a bit. However, payment plans are available.
Topogrow LED Grow Tent Complete Kit
Next up is the Topogrow LED Grow Tent Kit, which exists on the other end of the spectrum from high-priced, low-maintenance products like the Armoire.
This small, no-frills kit focuses on providing everything you need and nothing you don’t. The grow tent itself is about 2 feet X 2 feet X 4 feet, so you can fit a couple plants, and would be better off choosing short, stocky plants like indica, dwarf, or an autoflowering variety.
The kit comes with LED grow lights, mylar tent, fan/filter/duct combo, and is available in a wide range of sizes and added accoutrement. The size we reviewed here tops out at a mere $330 for it all — not bad for a full set-up. If you’re in the market to grow your own, have a free closet or an extra bathroom, and are more concerned with function than fashion, the Topogrow Kit is for you.
SpinnerXP by Spinner Grow
The SpinnerXP by Spinner Grow would be the high-tech Bentley of this bunch, extremely cool, extremely expensive, and yielding extreme results.
Basically how it works is each plant site features a basket that allows you to fill it with a growing medium of your choice: soil, soilless (like peat or moss), and hydroponic options like HEC and perlite. In the automated SpinnerXP, each plant pod spins slowly, ensuring that every part of every plant receives equal light distribution, allowing equal growth from top to bottom (no canopy effect) and total environmental control over each plant.
This product is for those who really want to grow some fucking weed. Each SpinnerXP model holds up to twelve different plants, and can fit easily in a room with 8-foot ceilings, so you’re going to need some space. Coming in at a whopping $2500 for the base setup, and $2750 for the recommended setup, you’d be looking at a 6-8 week harvest from clone to flower, and with up to 12 plants in a single harvest, one hell of a yield.
The Lettuce Grow Farmstand
While not initially conceived for growing weed, the Lettuce Grow Farmstand has gained a cult following with at-home growers trying their hand at cultivating a different type of consumable.
Geared toward sustainability and the idea that great food should be easy to grow, each unit is made from recycled ocean plastic from coastal communities, and with every unit sold, one is donated to a school around the US.
They’re available in models that house increments of 12 plants, 18 plants, or 24 plants, and cost between $350—$500, with payment plans available between $30—$50 a month. Due to its size and ability to yield high results with very little growing surface, the Lettuce Grow is perfect for balcony gardening outdoors. Lighting kits are available for additional purchase if you’re looking to grow inside.
The unit comes preloaded with plant pods of your choice and nutrients, so all you’d have to do is switch out a plant pod for a cannabis clone, fill the unit up with water, and watch as your weed flowers to fruition.
When asked of the Lettuce Grow’s application in cannabis farming, founder and CEO Jacob Pechenik said, “More and more, we are hearing about ‘Big Cannabis,’ large scale cultivation of cannabis by industrialized brands, where it is unclear where the product comes from, what is sprayed on it, and who is profiting. This is exactly what occurred within the food industry, which inspired us to launch Lettuce Grow.”
He continued, “We know that most of the food we see on grocery store shelves has been processed, sprayed with chemicals, and is far from fresh by the time it reaches the consumer. And the same issues exist in cannabis. Lettuce Grow gives you the confidence that when you grow with us it won’t contain added pesticides, herbicides or other unwanted chemicals.”
Featured image by Armoire.